I look at my stats and I can't believe that people actually still visit my blog. whoever those people are, HIGH FIVE YO !
Since the 12th of February quite some things happened, and I guess I just needed time to deal with everything. I got tired of the whole circus of fashion and blogging and promoting and spam. So I took a break. Mostly spent my time looking at ceilings and reading books, but mostly I was preoccupied with not wearing makeup. Originally I just thought of quitting the whole blog thing, but dude 2 years is a lot of investment. So I decided not to.
The problem is, I felt like my blog didn't "fit" me anymore. I was tired of writing about brands and taking outfit posts and I just wanted to be in the studio and work on projects I wasn't going to publish. I am nothing like the 16 year old girl who started this blog three years ago. All I knew is that I liked clothes and I liked writing. That's it. And honestly, at that age your body is effortlessly smokin' and you love yourself a little too much than you are willing to admit (Example A, look at all those little exhibitionist little teenagers on ANY social network). But then you grow up and you learn that there is more to fashion than just a pretty dress. And that between heaven and earth there is more than just fashion. In those two, now almost three years later, I have been forced to think and look at myself in the mirror, with all the embarrassing memories that pop up with it. I guess the biggest lesson in these years was that I need to be my own person. Too many times have I looked up too people or tried to be something else than myself, while, let's be honest here, I am kind of an awesome person. I guess fashion was disgusting to me for a while because it felt like I was "following" someone else, instead of making my own path. But dude, I am 19 now. It's fucking weird and I feel old. I even believe my boobs are sagging a bit.
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| LOL jokes my boobs are awesome |
I have seen the beauty and the beast when it comes to blogging, from self-absorbed little ho's to conscious, honest writers who just want to talk about life. But most importantly, I discovered the people that are in between those things. I talked to a lot of people, asking for advice. And the wisest think alike, for their plea was the same: blog your life for you, not for others. And I guess that's what was wrong. I blogged for others, wrote what I thought my readers would like and soon it felt like my blog existed outside of me and every day more it felt like a chore.
But, I'm over that now. Sometimes I will have something to write. Sometimes I won't. But I will bore you with it nonetheless. I made this blog for me, to start with. And when it was all about discovering the fashion world it was all fun and exiting and new, and I loved it ! So that's it. This blog is mine, and I will post whatever the hell I want. And if you don't like that, drag your sweet ass to that red X up top because I am ready to rumble honey boo boo!