Since we're totally besties, I feel it is appropriate to tell you my feelings and occasionally blurt out the f-word. As much as I have tried, I can not stay away from your show. I don't want to watch it, because that shit makes me depressed and amazed at the same time and by brain just can't process all those feelings at the same time.
Ever since I went to university I feel like I gave up on my dream to become a stylist one day. Like the step to academic knowledge had to override creativity and all the fun stuff that my awesome internship promised. But I miss it. I miss the rush of excitement when I am on a set, the endless opportunity I felt when preparing a shoot, the crazy schedules I barely survived and the amazing, talented people I had the honor to work with. I miss it like crazy and I feel like nothing can give me that feeling of contentment like styling and assisting did.
Obviously I won't let anything kill my vibe, and as you suggested I just keep on producing and producing everything until I get it right. Ever since Reckless I feel the dramatic urge to style so bad that my fingers tingle and my heart just beats out of control until I put some ish together. So that's the plan. Work until you're amazing.