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05 November 2011

The Return Of The Gentlemen

Sometimes my nostalgic soul longs for the good old times. Where men opened the door for ladies, where they kissed their hand and bowed... Where they took their hat off and went all "Good morning miss".
I guess I'm kind of a romantic, dreaming of times long gone. But I don't believe the Gentleman has died. Oh no, of course not. He has just... Evolved. Ladies and other species,I give you: the modern day Gentleman.

A mix of romantic movies, experience, a long philosophical chat and the urge of doing another photo-shoot got me to write this article. If you haven't read the disclaimer, I'll tell you again. Everything I say is just my opinion, based on my own experience and does not have to be yours. I'm just expressing my point of view, to raise a discussion about this topic

In this Blogtorial I shot Jules, who in many eyes personifies the Perfect Gentleman. Strong, yet caring.  It is all about a man who is confident, yet not arrogant. And above all: impeccably well dressed. A man who  knows what he stands for and which mama has taught him well !


I warned you.
Allow me to brag about my own movie-moment. In Paris, of all places! 
It was a sunny yet windy day when I was rushing through the cité. I came out of the subway, heading to the Chanel show. I was wearing my black raffia hat and mustard polka dotted dress. Then, all of a sudden, the wind blows unexpectedly hard, lifting my beloved hat off my head. I looked back in panic, because I would be late for the show if I went after it, but my outfit wouldn't be complete without it. You understand that this was a dilemma of my life. Here's the good part. My hat flies over the street,  and this (gorgeous) guy sees it. With no hesitation he runs after my hat, picks it up, and smiling, as if he was proud of himself succeeding. Obviously my elegance (ahum) was reduced to awkwardly standing there, not believing my eyes. 
So Mr. French Beau looks up, walks to me while shaking the dust of his classic black blazer. When he gets close enough he is all like : "Votre chapeau, mademoiselle ?" handing me my hat. Good.mother.of.God. crying.  I died. twice. 

Me I'm obviously just trying to be cool and I'm all "Oui, oui, merci beaucoup" and run off before I could drown in his gorgeous eyes again. This sounds dumb, but 1. I was late for Chanel guys and 2. I don't think that Le Boyfriend would've approved of a cute conversation over a cup of coffee. Dammit. 

Besides affirming all my love for Paris, I was really shocked that this kind of guy still existed. I mean, the amount of guys that would've looked at this scene and think "sucks to be you though!" and walked on... I can't count all the guys in Brussels that bumped into me without excusing themselves, took the last seat in the bus while they knew damn well I had to stand with my 12 cm heels, spit on the ground with the grossest sound in the world. Did I have to go to Paris to find a Gentleman? REALLY GUYS ?

Bon anyway when rant over. Thing is, I noticed that it was quite hard to find a proper gentleman ... I thought the sixties had them buried for good! Obviously, it is easy to just blame everything dickely for being uneducated bastards, but are they? Is it really all their fault? Maybe this is a good time to put my feministic thoughts aside and actually look at both parties. Good case of look at yourself before you blame others!

Do you do it like a dude ?
Let's take a look at what's happening right now without me boring you with the history of courtesy: Girls behave like men, and men behave like spoiled, bratty little girls. What is up with that? 
Somehow it doesn't click in my head:Why do girls even want to behave like men?    Besides the tiny detail that you won't get respected if you don't make some noise, being a guy is just way easier. They can do whatever they want when they want, not caring about the people they hurt on the way. While I truly am a feminist, defending the rights of the women all the way, I don't think that it [emancipation] only brought good things. They thought they brought us independence, but instead women are now over-charged because of the double role they have to play. On one side they all have to be a independent, strong woman with a career and do stuff for herself, but on the other side they are still expected to be moms, taking  care of children and so on. However you want to turn it, only women can have kids and be pregnant. Question is, does that make it okay to just throw that on them, limiting them in more than one way?

So I guess somewhere everybody has lost their way. Because honestly, all girls want a real man. You know, the one that can be protective, give you flowers,  etc etc. But how do we expect them to be that man, while we are all like Umm I don't need you I gots my own I is independent? *Teyana Taylor Voice*  
Men are big egotrippers, but they are as insecure as women are. So if you act like a man,  they have nothing to do around you ! I mean, how can he open the door for you if you have taken your Queen B walk right to the door and busted it open? Trust me, next time he will think twice before even trying.  All of this just to show you how messed up things have got. 

If you didn't see the Tyler Perry movies around Madea, you need to stop right there and go watch them. Even if I think he has a real issue with women ( I bet he is traumatized ) he somehow has a point. In his movies, he portrays (black) women as being ghetto, bossy, demanding and ungrateful. I do not agree completely since he generalizes way to much, but he has a point. So with the women being basic bitches, the men behave like senseless dogs running around their wife fulfilling every single crazy, outrageous demand she might have. Only so that same woman can complain afterwards that their man is a wuss and has no back bone. See my point? 

Miss Independent Calling
I don't say that women should shut up and be subordinate, neither that men should be dominant and treat women badly only because they are men. I just say that more women should be ladies, elegance and finesse have never killed a person. Men should go back to the state of being gentlemen, instead of so-called gangsta's (I have another rant about those, too!). Manners and strength are key.  Just behave like well educated persons, act like you got some damn sense and it will make this world a better place!

Being a lady has nothing to do with being suppressed. In the contrary, I think a lady is a strong woman with her own opinions, who has class and style and doesn't need  a man to build up her life. Being a man has nothing to do with being dominant, have a big ego and think you run the world because you have muscles/money. Being a man is about having a back bone, responsible, caring and have enough confidence without having to suppress others to feel strong. But the two can't live without each other, that's why the good Lord invented mind-blowing chemistry between the two. Let me hear that Amen!

* Petite note, I know really well educated guys in Brussels. So before you guys shoot my head off, I was exaggerating to prove a point.

So both men and women should do an effort in order to be happy. What do you think about this matter? Am I totally overreacting/telling nonsense/right /....? 

A big thank you to Mr Jules "Jewelz" for being the absolute sweetheart that he is, and for being so patient with me during the shoot :D